The Barman of the Drunken Druid is described as a 'jolly looking barman' who serves drinks to all the patrons of the tavern. He talks a lot to all comers, as the punters expect local gossip and general smalltalk from him. However, he can never find the ingredients for any drinks as he has a stupid assistant who puts them in odd places. The cocktails available at the bar are Wet Wizard (requiring sparrow juice), Warlock Surprise (requiring essence of fruitbat), and Cool Red Witch (requiring powdered toucan). The Drunken Druid pub is his pride and joy, and he has a reputation of fine service.

When questioned by Simon, all he knows about Sordid is that he is attracting warriors, wizards, assassins and priests who wish to defeat him which is raising business in the pub (because of this he has nothing against Sordid). He also reveals some gossip about the love life of King Tristan the 2nd, and that he bought a fruit machine off the back of a lorry from some wizards. After distracting him, Simon plugs the beer barrel behind him with beeswax, causing the barman to throw it out thinking it's empty.